Let’s continue down this path of building rapport as the basis of persuasion with others. Change management, impact, and leadership all require some level of persuasion. Whether it comes innately through charisma or is planned and rehearsed, bringing others down the path with you requires establishing some level of rapport.
For example, have you ever gone into a meeting and you notice that there’s kind of a cultural understanding that the meeting will start with a little chit-chat. Many are frustrated by this and just want to get started on the agenda. Why do leaders allow this “wasted time” to happen with regularity? Chit-chat is creating connection. It provides a platform for belonging, and can prepare the room for the agenda to come.
So, how do we cross from the fuzzy feeling of belonging to the solid objective of persuading – here are three physical skills you can practice to develop rapport with others:
Mirroring the behavior of other people
Mirroring is about connecting on a subconscious, physical level. It is about being in tune with the other as you observe their behavior.
Are they leaning forward or are they leaning backwards? Are they sitting upright? If you can, subtly follow their lead. Consequently, when someone connects with your body language, your movements, your vibe then your subconscious brain reads those signals as nonthreatening.
Breathing in sync
An easy way to match purpose with someone is to match breathing with them. Some breaths are top lung only; some are full, deep, and calm; others are sighing releases signally disquiet or transition. A human’s breathing pattern often reveals their emotional state. Matching breaths equalizes your state with their state – temporarily bonding you together by perceived emotional temperament.
Matching Energy Level
Again our subconscious brain tends to code similar as friendly. Matching energy like levels of enthusiasm, volume, or formality can enhance your level of rapport. Also, watch for levels of introversion and extroversion and ape what is being modeled in front of you.
Two application warnings. Like all things, there is a time and a place for this behavior. Remember that these skills are useful when you are pointedly developing rapport. By and large, when rapport is your number one goal for the interaction, these behaviors can build trust. Meet ups to design strategy, behavior correction, or solve problems may not be appropriate situations for rapport building.
Without rapport, no one is interested in the message that you want to communicate or the service that you want to provide. Without Rapport there is less chance to influence or to persuade others.
